Carol’s Column

Just how did we survive with only soap and water?

The national preoccupation with cleansing is going too far. Look, I'm all for fighting corruption, cleaning up the public service, weeding out those despicable worms in government who abuse their positions and suck the fiscus dry.

Criminals who defraud others, who rob, rape, murder and violate should be incarcerated in unpleasant places for lengthy periods.

But I'm talking of a different kind of cleansing here. If you have been watching television recently you will notice that we are under siege.

Not so long ago during the days of the former regime, it was communists who were regarded as the evil scourge wanting to take over the country. Today there's another scourge. Pestilent, pandemic, potentially toxic and purulent, if you can believe TV ads, billions of dirt germs have invaded our lives.

In my happy home I brought up four children, dogs, hamsters, a cat and my husband, and remarkably we've grown to maturity and survived.

I say remarkably because unbeknown to me, my house is a deathtrap. I always prided myself on having the shiniest kitchen sink in Africa, a floor we could eat off and working surfaces on which an iceskater could glide.

My lavatory bowls welcomed all descending orbs and on occasion, I'd lighten the lavatorial experience by adding a dash of colour to the cistern water to create a blue or lavender flush.

I had no idea that all these years I've been dicing with death, that every insalubrious surface is a potential den of germicidal iniquity.

But you might as well throw out all your household cleaners for it seems if you want true cleanliness you have to purchase a germicide cleaner, one that will instantly kill every germ around.

Wipe your lavatory bowl and all surrounding surfaces with a germ-busting cleaner and your familial bottoms will live to see another day.

How did we previously survive living under such unsterile conditions?

No matter. Fortunately a whole generation of household cleaners has evolved - all containing germicidal components and all selling for substantially higher prices than the regular products.

And people fall for this twaddle. Yesterday I watched several shoppers descend upon the shelves stocked with so-called high-priced germicidal goodies.

"Do you think this is necessary?" I asked a young mother wheeling a toddler-filled trolley.

"Oh yes," she replied, "because it kills all the germs lurking in unexpected places. I want my child to grow to a ripe old age."

Sheer luck, I thought to myself, that my kids survived despite the primitive hygiene of the time such as washing their hands - in ordinary soap - after going to the toilet and washing their hands - in ordinary soap - before eating.

Last night I switched on the TV to watch the news and in the space of 10 minutes was assailed by a series of toothy women triumphantly brandishing the ultimate weapons against germ warfare.

Which makes me think that this hysteria with a germ-free environment is a serious threat to one of our great traditions. Biltong.

If this ferocious cleansing trend expands it is logical to expect that biltong will become an endangered species for it is a perfect repository for the normal moulds and yeast in the air, in other words, common fungus.

Place a portion of standard biltong beneath a microscope and it is possible that it will contain spoilage organisms and poisons such as staphylococcus - the same bacteria found in boils.

But think about it - generations of healthy South Africans have grown old on biltong. High-priced germicidal cleansers? What a load of twak.

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