Carol’s Column

Carol Lazar · Johannesburg · 1979–2001

The archive

Every column, week by week

539 columns from 1979 to 2001, 230 of them with the cartoon they ran beside.

Searching the full text of 539 columns, plus 1413 names and 99 glossary entries. Words match from their start, so andy leaves brandy alone, and double quotes keep a phrase whole.

1979

11 columns
30 Sep Jogging's for the birds, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Oct A hysterectomy means never having to say no, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Oct Heaven help me, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 Nov Bath blues, with a cartoon Sunday Express 11 Nov The toothmouse strikes again, with a cartoon Sunday Express 18 Nov Oh death where is thy sting?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 Nov Flush your worries away — ask the kids, with a cartoon Sunday Express 2 Dec Braais — or who burned the wors?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 9 Dec Property tycoon trauma, with a cartoon Sunday Express 16 Dec Parties in the sticks, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 Dec Heppy Klissimus, with a cartoon Sunday Express

1980

46 columns
6 Jan Sardines in the sand, with a cartoon Sunday Express 13 Jan Cast off the gherkins, with a cartoon Sunday Express 20 Jan A louse in time saves nine, with a cartoon Sunday Express 27 Jan Where have all the dumb kids gone?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 3 Feb Who hates Gertrude Ginkel?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 10 Feb Who said Valentines were soppy?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 17 Feb Life is one big yoyo, with a cartoon Sunday Express 24 Feb Life is just a tube of toothpaste, with a cartoon Sunday Express 2 Mar Boating's for the birds, with a cartoon Sunday Express 9 Mar Groovy movie, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 Mar Every household drudge should have her day — but when?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 20 Apr Naughty, naked and oh so nice, with a cartoon Sunday Express 27 Apr In the swim of things, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 May Every mother deserves one, with a cartoon Sunday Express 11 May Common census bites the dust, with a cartoon Sunday Express 18 May The sad demise of Horace, with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 May Of plague ... and things, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 Jun Uncle Walter in long-Johns, with a cartoon Sunday Express 8 Jun So who said parties are such fun?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 Jun Happy Father's Day to you, with a cartoon Sunday Express 22 Jun Blame it all on Schuyler, with a cartoon Sunday Express 29 Jun Life is just a set of false teeth, with a cartoon Sunday Express 6 Jul Health freaks of the world unite, with a cartoon Sunday Express 13 Jul Gone fishin' ... or something, with a cartoon Sunday Express 20 Jul A little flu goes a long way, with a cartoon Sunday Express 27 Jul The knock-kneed protege, with a cartoon Sunday Express 3 Aug Sometimes, the bald truth hurts more than anything, with a cartoon Sunday Express 10 Aug Eat your heart out Jackie O, with a cartoon Sunday Express 17 Aug Sad lament of a dried-out drudge, with a cartoon Sunday Express 24 Aug When hair should never happen, with a cartoon Sunday Express 31 Aug When spare parts hardly happen, with a cartoon Sunday Express 7 Sep Tall, dark and handsome, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Sep When stately homes crumble, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Sep In the bush with the terrors, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Sep When boerewors is the bane of life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 5 Oct Dead fish don't talk back, with a cartoon Sunday Express 12 Oct Culture vulture, with a cartoon Sunday Express 19 Oct Strange things happen in the dark, with a cartoon Sunday Express 26 Oct Bite the dust baby, cos here I come, with a cartoon Sunday Express 2 Nov Some people even sew for fun, with a cartoon Sunday Express 9 Nov A big city's for the birds and even they don't want it, with a cartoon Sunday Express 16 Nov A ball by any other game, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 Nov So who said fat was fun?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 7 Dec So why don't Xmas stockings fit?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Dec And a happy Christmas to you too, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Dec A Christmas tale, with a cartoon Sunday Express

1981

38 columns
4 Jan So who invented New Year?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 11 Jan It shouldn't happen to anyone, with a cartoon Sunday Express 18 Jan So who needs sleep?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 Jan Mothers of the world unite, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 Feb Supermother rides again, with a cartoon Sunday Express 8 Feb The bean trail rides again, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 Feb The naked truth, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 Mar You're in the army now, with a cartoon Sunday Express 8 Mar So who needs blood, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 Mar Wine is good for chilblains, with a cartoon Sunday Express 22 Mar So who needs a status symbol in their life? Me Sunday Express 29 Mar Who invented the fork anyway? Sunday Express 5 Apr Every fried egg will have its day, with a cartoon Sunday Express 26 Apr So who's afraid of crocs? Sunday Express 3 May What a life ... it shouldn't happen to anyone, with a cartoon Sunday Express 10 May What goes thump in the dark?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 24 May Blame it on Mr Bell Sunday Express 31 May Business is hell Sunday Express 7 Jun Adultery, boredom, cold feet . . . take your pick, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Jun Be happy you're born a woman, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Jun Every father deserves his day Sunday Express 28 Jun Make your ecosystem work, with a cartoon Sunday Express 5 Jul There's nothing like a good chew, with a cartoon Sunday Express 12 Jul Frostbite can be fun Sunday Express 19 Jul The Liz Taylor of Parkwood Sunday Express 26 Jul The Wedding causes civil war Sunday Express 2 Aug Everyone loves a swinger Sunday Express 16 Aug Starkers in the grocery cupboard Sunday Express 23 Aug And the turkey came too Sunday Express 30 Aug There's a blight in my bath Sunday Express 6 Sep If music be the food of love . . . starve, with a cartoon Sunday Express 13 Sep Culture vulture strikes again Sunday Express 27 Sep So who needs green grass? Sunday Express 8 Nov Eat your heart out Margot, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 Nov The silk sheet syndrome Sunday Express 22 Nov So who needs a dreamhouse? Sunday Express 6 Dec Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain Sunday Express 20 Dec Well, hello Mother Christmas!, with a cartoon Sunday Express

1982

39 columns
10 Jan 1982 — the year of the mole cricket, with a cartoon Sunday Express 17 Jan Mothers of the world unite for you have only brown paper to lose, with a cartoon Sunday Express 24 Jan So who says fresh air is healthy?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 7 Feb Cast off your school uniforms, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Feb Strike of the unpaid domestic engineers, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Feb So who wants to be a fish?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 7 Mar The ice-cream cone syndrome of life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Mar When a scone means failure or success, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Mar I always wanted to be a bat, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Mar Fasten your helmets and your false teeth, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 Apr Revolution of the fig leaf generation, with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 Apr Holidays hardly happen, with a cartoon Sunday Express 2 May Fish are pretty foxy, with a cartoon Sunday Express 9 May Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough Sunday Express 9 May So who's got time to live these days? Sunday Express 16 May A toothy tale about headgear Sunday Express 23 May Roll out the pastry, your country needs you., with a cartoon Sunday Express 30 May Mammoth mother strikes again, with a cartoon Sunday Express 6 Jun Cold feet will always fry, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 Jul Who says it's a dog's life? Sunday Express 11 Jul Every dancer's mum shall have her day, with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 Jul It's a perfectly opposite life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 Aug They say crocs lurk in the waters of the swamps, with a cartoon Sunday Express 8 Aug So who said that naked wasn't nice?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 29 Aug They say pets are good for your health Sunday Express 5 Sep It's toothmouse time and the gold price is up, with a cartoon Sunday Express 12 Sep Sex is here to stay, with a cartoon Sunday Express 19 Sep A skeleton out of the cupboard, with a cartoon Sunday Express 26 Sep Battle of the boerewors, with a cartoon Sunday Express 3 Oct They say a little bit of integration goes a long way, with a cartoon Sunday Express 10 Oct A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it, with a cartoon Sunday Express 17 Oct So who’s busy?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 24 Oct Is later life just, well, a set of spare parts?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 31 Oct A little bit of status gets you nowhere Sunday Express 7 Nov Stimulate your sole, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Nov Hey, look! It’s big Les and little Carol on the mean machine, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Nov Hark, the Jewish angel sings, with a cartoon Sunday Express 5 Dec The night we saw the Pope and the peppermints tasted funny Sunday Express 12 Dec Christmas comes but once a year – thank heavens, with a cartoon Sunday Express

1983

41 columns
9 Jan C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party Sunday Express 16 Jan Things aren’t what they used to be – or what they should be for that matter, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 Jan Meet my daughter the plant monitor Sunday Express 6 Feb When death is a welcome release, with a cartoon Sunday Express 13 Feb Watchit! Here comes Niki Lauda Lazar!, with a cartoon Sunday Express 20 Feb There’s nothing quite like drowning to keep you fit, with a cartoon Sunday Express 27 Feb Speed gets the adrenalin going Sunday Express 6 Mar Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms, with a cartoon Sunday Express 13 Mar So who needs to speak English these days?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 20 Mar Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 27 Mar When parents and teachers meet — life’s always exciting Sunday Express 24 Apr So who did what to whom in Plet?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 May When the cops caught the tunny run home, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 May Drink champagne and do your bit for South Africa, with a cartoon Sunday Express 22 May Oh death where is thy sting?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 May The diningroom table’s the backbone of the family: Help! We’ve just collapsed Sunday Express 29 May A smoky tale of woe Sunday Express 5 Jun Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express Sunday Express 12 Jun The banana loaf mother strikes back Sunday Express 19 Jun Needed now — inflatable mum for deflated dad, with a cartoon Sunday Express 26 Jun Hamburgers still beat slow dancing when you’re a kid, with a cartoon Sunday Express 3 Jul Hey! Watchit Greek islands — here comes Momma Lazar!, with a cartoon Sunday Express 17 Jul Flying high in hospital Sunday Express 24 Jul Facing up to the bare facts of rhythm in the old genes, with a cartoon Sunday Express 31 Jul Never give up in a tight spot, with a cartoon Sunday Express 7 Aug So who needs Rod Stewart and a flashy old diamond?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Aug C’mon, plug into a whole new way of life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Aug Henry the hog falls in love, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Aug Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others Sunday Express 11 Sep Life’s just an old spark plug anyway ..., with a cartoon Sunday Express 18 Sep I guess other mothers have trees too ..., with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 Sep Fins ain’t what they used to be, with a cartoon Sunday Express 2 Oct Gerrie for Prime Minister, with a cartoon Sunday Express 16 Oct Come and have a wild experience in Pretoria, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 Oct Help! help! I’m a prisoner in a body, with a cartoon Sunday Express 6 Nov They call it high-flying living Sunday Express 13 Nov Help, help, there’s a hell’s angel trying to get out Sunday Express 20 Nov Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off Sunday Express 27 Nov Beauty is only skin deep — so who needs skin?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 Dec Every mother needs a book club, with a cartoon Sunday Express 11 Dec The Great Trek strikes again, with a cartoon Sunday Express

1984

45 columns
15 Jan Fun in the sun — or when holidays happily happen Sunday Express 22 Jan A fishy tale with a bite, with a cartoon Sunday Express 29 Jan Scuba divers do it deeper, with a cartoon Sunday Express 5 Feb When jogging goes to Carol’s head, with a cartoon Sunday Express 12 Feb So who needs romance on St Valentine's Day? Sunday Express 19 Feb Beauty takes to the bush, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 Mar Who said life was just one big hoot?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 11 Mar A tragic tale, with a cartoon Sunday Express 18 Mar All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things, with a cartoon Sunday Express 25 Mar My daughter the fish, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 Apr Raindrops keep falling on my head, with a cartoon Sunday Express 8 Apr A little drama in life goes a long way, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 Apr A murderer or saint? Sunday Express 22 Apr So who needs Disney World when we’ve got the Rand Show?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 29 Apr The day Walter curled up and died at Satara Sunday Express 6 May Up, up and away in a plastic bubble Sunday Express 13 May Every mother should have her day, with a cartoon Sunday Express 20 May King Alfred never made a mountain out of a cupcake, with a cartoon Sunday Express 27 May Let it all hang out Sunday Express 3 Jun To hunt a man you need a drip-dry wig Sunday Express 10 Jun How not to get into a stew, with a cartoon Sunday Express 17 Jun Every dog should have his day, with a cartoon Sunday Express 24 Jun Anyone for a culture shock?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 1 Jul Life is just a bar of wormy chocolate, with a cartoon Sunday Express 8 Jul When Carol goes into battle dressed to kill, with a cartoon Sunday Express 15 Jul Who said running is fun?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 29 Jul There’s nothing quite like camping Sunday Express 5 Aug A little home cooking to soup-up Zola, with a cartoon Sunday Express 12 Aug Every mother should have a Jody Scheckter in her life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 19 Aug Every mother needs a thief in her life, with a cartoon Sunday Express 26 Aug She’s just a talking skunk Sunday Express 2 Sep Every back should have its day ... or seven, with a cartoon Sunday Express 9 Sep If you haven’t stuffed cannelloni ... you really haven’t lived, with a cartoon Sunday Express 23 Sep Happiness is when your son has a date for the matric dance, with a cartoon Sunday Express 30 Sep It’s spring and sex is in the air, with a cartoon Sunday Express 7 Oct Every mutt has its day, with a cartoon Sunday Express 14 Oct You know what? Enough is enough, with a cartoon Sunday Express 21 Oct Momma is marooned on an island paradise, with a cartoon Sunday Express 28 Oct Oh ring where is thy ding a ling a ling?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 4 Nov Who says the grass is always greener on the other side ...?, with a cartoon Sunday Express 11 Nov Matric’s killing me! I just can’t stand the strain!, with a cartoon Sunday Express 18 Nov I am a tree-trunk, Omo sofa Sunday Express 9 Dec Poor Dubowitz bites the dust, with a cartoon Sunday Express 16 Dec Heppy Klissimus to you, too Sunday Express ? undated Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts

1985

1 column
16 Nov Man on the run Weekend Argus

1987

32 columns
1 Feb It’s a cat’s life, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 8 Feb Oozing oil from every pore, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 15 Feb The night sweet romance passed me by, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 22 Feb When the stay-fit freak strikes again, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 15 Mar Burning rubber in the bushes The Sunday Star ? Mar Boerewors will overcome The Sunday Star 19 Apr Business trips are hell, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 26 Apr No beating about the bush, with a cartoon The Sunday Star ? Apr So, who needs to Loop a Star?, with a cartoon 10 May Come the revolution, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 24 May When a country hick takes on the USA, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 31 May When life is just a bowl of kumquats, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 7 Jun Meet my son the rock star, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 14 Jun When the phantom bomber tries to strike, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 21 Jun For the father who has everything, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 28 Jun Exams are hell on the cells The Sunday Star 5 Jul A kiss is just a kiss, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 12 Jul Every mother needs a full stomach in her life, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 19 Jul If food be the music of love, eat on, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 2 Aug We're all going on a cosy holiday, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 9 Aug Who's hanging up on life?, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 30 Aug Hello Baryshnikov, my name's Carol, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 13 Sep Gardening tips stink, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 20 Sep Life's a bowl of olives, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 11 Oct Who says every mom has to suffer? The traffic department, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 18 Oct Uteri for hire, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 1 Nov Who's having a ball?, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 8 Nov Boerewors is the bane of my life, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 15 Nov Help! I've got a teenage daughter, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 22 Nov Hooray, it's happy holidays again, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 29 Nov If you feel like exercising just lie down until the feeling goes away, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 6 Dec Men's lib could start with a little chiffon, with a cartoon The Sunday Star

1988

23 columns
24 Jan Come cast your vote for Carol's Commonwealth, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 31 Jan Memories are made of evenings like this, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 14 Feb Romance is alive and well and snoring happily upstairs, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 21 Feb The power of the press strikes again, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 28 Feb Look before you leap, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 6 Mar It could probably happen to anyone, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 13 Mar So who needs a hog and a hyena in their lives?, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 20 Mar Who needs a trolley in their life? Me, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 27 Mar Up, up and away, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 22 May Naked is nice . . . so they say, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 29 May Lay on jacuzzis for Fifi and Spot, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 26 Jun Is man really necessary?, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 31 Jul Clothes to rend the family apart The Sunday Star 21 Aug Guru Spock moves over..., with a cartoon The Sunday Star 11 Sep There's a mini-millionaire in our backyard, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 2 Oct The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 23 Oct Ice-cream cone syndrome is incurable, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 20 Nov If the cap fits, steal it, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 27 Nov Full marks for matric tact and tactics, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 4 Dec On the slippery slope to fame, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 11 Dec Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen, with a cartoon The Sunday Star ? undated A stitch in time can save a gusset The Sunday Star ? undated There’s no fire when there’s smoke, with a cartoon The Sunday Star

1989

25 columns
29 Jan The day I received advice from above, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 5 Feb We've been harbouring a friendly alien, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 12 Feb Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 19 Feb I'm the Queen of the crumbling castle, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 26 Feb Now it's see and tell, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 5 Mar What every good wife should know - or how to have a happy marriage, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 12 Mar Trapped with a teenage daughter, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 2 Apr Devastating dialogue at the Dinner Drama, with a cartoon The Sunday Star 9 Apr A versatile bowl fits two fish sandwiches The Sunday Star 18 Jun For whom the bell tolls: a hairy experience The Sunday Star 25 Jun Down Under wives pant for pay; here it’s zilch The Sunday Star 9 Jul Say a swift Howzit! on your teledivellicater The Sunday Star 16 Jul Old age or not, 10 eggs per meal is murder The Sunday Star 27 Aug Smiles grow stiff amidst all the goodwill The Sunday Star 3 Sep Stubby’s farewell a pulverised garden The Sunday Star 10 Sep Birthday greetings ‘Kos’ a fortune The Sunday Star 24 Sep Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ... The Sunday Star 29 Oct Some fishy tales of feminine prowess The Sunday Star 5 Nov Flushed with success in toiletry trade The Sunday Star 19 Nov Get away from it all with a 7-year hitch The Sunday Star 3 Dec I'm not hogging it over the jet set The Sunday Star 17 Dec The rise and fall of a Jewish Santa The Sunday Star 31 Dec It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little The Sunday Star ? undated Congrats, for thousands of us, might be in order The Sunday Star ? undated Joining the club in university of life, with a cartoon The Sunday Star

1990

27 columns
21 Jan Bring on the sleep machine! The Sunday Star 28 Jan Fattening and flexing in the great flab war The Sunday Star 29 Apr Snappy hint for canine canines The Sunday Star 10 Jun I’m loo-sing out on the new SA The Sunday Star 17 Jun Thermal pants his bottom line The Sunday Star 24 Jun Blame it all on spinach The Sunday Star 1 Jul Who says it’s just a game? The Sunday Star 8 Jul It’s enough to make you ask what’s in a name The Sunday Star 5 Aug Total onslaught all over again The Sunday Star 12 Aug It’s not junk, it’s our history The Sunday Star 19 Aug In the thick of the brown The Sunday Star 26 Aug On a countdown to fall-out The Sunday Star 2 Sep The day my daughter turned into a swan The Sunday Star 9 Sep So, what's a lion or two? 16 Sep Parenthood’s prosaic myths The Sunday Star 23 Sep Democracy is a fragile plant The Sunday Star 30 Sep Heaven is ... a heedful dog The Sunday Star 7 Oct Surprise visit cleaned us out The Sunday Star 14 Oct The gift in pink: chicken manure The Sunday Star 21 Oct Hot water and a bald head The Sunday Star 4 Nov Boris was Hugo looking for love The Sunday Star 11 Nov Mental quarks about carrots The Sunday Star 18 Nov Matric blues and a new era The Sunday Star 2 Dec Serving up the perfect vac job The Sunday Star ? Dec Let’s dress men up for a long life The Sunday Star ? undated Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men ? undated Some dags cakked under the strine The Sunday Star

1991

12 columns
1 Jan The "Joys" of Camping 20 Jan Carsick crayfish — a dead loss The Sunday Star 27 Jan Masked humour of people at war The Sunday Star 10 Feb Naked truth of saying goodbye The Sunday Star 24 Mar No coffee perks in my direction The Sunday Star 6 Apr Beware my little fender bender The Sunday Star 7 Jul The dread K53 drives you mad The Sunday Star 28 Jul Bye-bye smelly, lovable, comical canine The Sunday Star 4 Aug Even in a bath shocks can be lurking The Sunday Star 8 Sep Why didn’t I do this all before? The Sunday Star ? undated Adverts' slogans power up our New South Africa ? undated Small things that shock from a dizzy height The Star

1992

11 columns
22 Mar Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen ? Apr The day the grapevine broke down The Sunday Star 3 May Making a mother out of Leonardo The Sunday Star 14 Jun The sweet smell of sexcess The Sunday Star 26 Jul Our temple takes a tumble The Sunday Star 9 Aug Born to shop – in Istanbul Grand Bazaar The Sunday Star 16 Aug Beating the gym-workout syndrome The Sunday Star 20 Sep British hack blasphemed noble ritual The Sunday Star 4 Oct Love’s but the frailty of mind The Sunday Star 25 Oct Oh woe is me, now that the builders have all departed The Sunday Star 15 Nov Hellish end to life for an unknown teenager The Sunday Star

1993

12 columns
28 Feb Housewives ordinary? Forget it! The Sunday Star 28 Mar How I nearly had my body unblocked The Sunday Star 23 May Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang The Sunday Star 30 May Planet America is a wonder to behold The Sunday Star 6 Jun I share a tub with Hillary Clinton The Sunday Star 18 Jul Cold feet search nightly for a pair of warm thighs The Sunday Star 25 Jul Slicing bread is not as easy as it looks The Sunday Star 8 Aug Turning red after being in the pink The Sunday Star 19 Sep Clutch gets into high gear The Sunday Star 3 Oct To sleep perchance to dream The Sunday Star 7 Nov Romance sparkles – and dims The Sunday Star 28 Nov Suffer the little children The Sunday Star

1994

2 columns
13 Sep Touts at robots help usher in new SA The Star 11 Oct A smack on the kisser for the New South Africa, with a cartoon The Star

1995

8 columns
14 Jun Forget the pyramids – sex is the way to grow old The Star 19 Jul Sunbeams of happiness – not only for pigeons The Star 21 Jul Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water The Star 30 Aug Sunset call for camping's elite The Star 6 Sep Cutting down trees isn't the only way to calm down The Star 8 Nov Home alone at night can be an alarming experience The Star 22 Dec Fortunately for Livingston, I presume: it’s Christmas The Star ? undated Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA

1996

11 columns
10 Jan Everyone trying to be someone else on Cape beaches The Star 24 Jan If only the ghost of old Hog would rise up and bite The Star 3 Apr My private insights into Winnie and Anneline The Star 17 Apr Empty schools are an instant education solution The Star 24 Apr The day I exhibited distinct birding characteristics The Star 15 May Love at first flutter in Klein Karoo’s Cango Valley The Star 22 May The ultimate nightmare is not knowing, and waiting The Star 30 May There are absolutely no flies on the Elixir of Life The Star 10 Jul Minor disasters put everything into perspective The Star 7 Aug Pretoria hijackers have such a sense of humour The Star 6 Nov Who says our animals don't have spiritual souls? The Star

1997

21 columns
16 Apr Examining the inexact science of weather forecasting The Star 30 Apr From Eau de Clone ... to the sweet smell of excess The Star 7 May Making a start is important in effort to combat crime The Star 14 May When a syringa twig does the job better, use it... The Star 21 May Maltese poodles are intrepid South African settlers The Star 28 May Soon we'll be gobbling Karoo 'land langoustines' The Star 25 Jun Laying the foundations for loving thy neighbour The Star 2 Jul 'Crazee' that a lack of a 'kick hair' lost us Test The Star 13 Aug Naturally, Prince Charles and I talked hydrangeas The Star 3 Sep Queen of the World mourned, even on Cape Flats The Star 17 Sep Reversing the fate of a southern right whale The Star 24 Sep Solly's shack shelters hope for all South Africans The Star 8 Oct CD-Roms way beyond the ken of anyone over 4 The Star 15 Oct Husband or jacuzzi? Is there a real choice? The Star 29 Oct Army surplus store proved to be accommodating The Star 5 Nov Aerobics, like bungee jumping, is strictly for lunatics The Star 19 Nov The day I lit up my husband's life in our new jacuzzi The Star 26 Nov Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style The Star 3 Dec Hearing reflects horrors but also a chance for hope The Star 10 Dec Putting on a charitable face for the season The Star ? undated Guns & Mobile Phones

1998

39 columns
7 Jan The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful The Star 14 Jan Leather, latex and lingerie ripe for the plucking The Star 21 Jan Treasure the teachers - most of them are gems The Star 4 Feb Ewe ... hayi ... and a few clicks are just the trick The Star 11 Feb I still hate guns, but I’m not joining the chicken run The Star 18 Feb Cricket, mealies and joy of being mother-in-law-to-be The Star 25 Feb The only time I've been speechless is on a plane The Star 4 Mar Johanna gets first-class treatment at a state hospital The Star 11 Mar Desperately seeking your ever-so-lost beloved car The Star 18 Mar Schools crisis a threat to all in SA The Star 25 Mar Don't camp if you're a wet, it's only for the foolhardy The Star 8 Apr Deep throat puts spring in the jump of an intruder The Star 15 Apr Gun-toting farmer should have been put behind bars The Star 22 Apr Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today The Star 29 Apr Antjie's stunning book convinced me SA will work The Star 6 May Making ‘mincemeat’ of a potentially useful asset The Star 13 May Rambo Carol flexes muscles and vanquishes her foes The Star 20 May Only a mug thinks crime is confined to Gauteng The Star 27 May Gearing up for my son's Caribbean splicing not easy The Star 8 Jul The break up of Spice Girls may have sunk our rand The Star 15 Jul Blowing into Jo'burg on a brew of goodwill and beans The Star 22 Jul Hell hath no fury like those irritated by cellphones The Star 29 Jul Kheto pointed to a shadow in the water ... The Star 5 Aug 'African Renaissance' is nonsense until killing ends The Star 19 Aug We have our counterparts in the animal kingdom The Star 9 Sep 'Goud-gevaar' as Kiwis grab the SA mealie market The Star 16 Sep There's a great new way of meeting people in SA The Star 30 Sep Full feed ahead with the Jewish mother syndrome The Star 7 Oct Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind The Star 14 Oct Packing with a spouse not a bonding experience ... The Star 21 Oct Burying a child alive: just what IS happening to us? The Star 4 Nov It's so easy to adapt to life in an island paradise The Star 11 Nov Sea creature now sports a funky pair of spectacles The Star 17 Nov Maya is Born 18 Nov Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last The Star 25 Nov So, what's in a name? Ask the friendly Americans The Star 2 Dec Koopsiekte inevitable in shopping malls of the US The Star 9 Dec Next century will be good for women and my Maya The Star 29 Dec New Year's Eve

1999

39 columns
13 Jan Ma needs her car in a hurry down here on Earth The Star 20 Jan Search is on to find – before 2000 – one aardvark The Star 27 Jan Richmonds are aberrations 10 Feb Camping out for an ID and passing for ‘coloured’ The Star 17 Feb Who could afford to live to the ripe age of 309? The Star 24 Feb It’s hard not to be cynical when listening to TV ads The Star 3 Mar Able housekeepers and admirable ‘romantic’ tactics The Star 10 Mar They really don’t make things the way they used to The Star 17 Mar I lost my men in a techno nightmare in cyberspace The Star 24 Mar Forgive my yawn as the cliché-crunchers take over The Star 31 Mar 107 black olives growing on a tree I planted myself The Star 7 Apr As the wors sizzles, where did Renata spend Easter? The Star 14 Apr Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum? The Star 21 Apr Troglodyte development planning for East Rand The Star 28 Apr Lazar of Arabia, and the groin pain was worth it The Star 5 May Scary ... I almost murdered a man, intentionally The Star 12 May Forget soaps, just switch to pre-election politicians The Star 2 Jun A dose of reverse-Viagra might go down well The Star 23 Jun The Generation Gap 29 Jun Take Norman, my car 14 Jul My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames The Star 28 Jul Listen up Mallett! My old mom has some ideas The Star 4 Aug When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling The Star 11 Aug Yes, mom, God should have been a woman The Star 18 Aug Making pets out of the not-so-dangerous criminals The Star 25 Aug Plumbing the depths to find the plumber inside me The Star 8 Sep Just how did we survive with only soap and water? The Star 9 Nov Not out of my tree, just the opposite The Star 1 Dec Ho hum, soon it will be the end of yet another era The Star 14 Dec A mal jol in the mall to mark millennium’s end The Star 24 Dec Sometimes good things do happen to good people 30 Dec Holed up in my underground shelter 30 Dec Maya 30 Dec Nisson Mandra ? Dec I used the word lemming advisedly ? undated For better or worse? That's the (cellphone) question The Star ? undated It’s time to add the word ‘perp’ to your lexicon The Star ? undated Politically correct language ? undated Those weekends just ain’t long enough The Star

2000

34 columns
8 Jan Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights The Star 11 Jan Wish list for the new millennium The Star 8 Feb Sometimes it helps to make a real stink The Star 29 Feb Come on all, give whatever you can ... The Star 7 Mar Forget alien plants, what about guns? The Star 21 Mar Buying a one way ticket to my dreams The Star 28 Mar Putting old ties where your ‘tush’ is The Star 4 Apr Can morality ever justify this suffering? The Star 11 Apr ET and money make many very happy The Star 25 Apr Garden’s alive with beer-guzzling snails The Star 2 May All at sea (for a day) as we get shipshape The Star 9 May Secondhand Norman storms along The Star 16 May How Guy, a tree murderer, won me over The Star 23 May More info on world’s first flush toilet The Star 13 Jun Polite police and rapid post a pleasure The Star 27 Jun Three down and only one to go ... The Star 4 Jul Good times, bad times in a heartbeat The Star ? Jul New ID Books ? Jul Penguins 1 Aug No longer making a spectacle of myself The Star 8 Aug Rain and cold compound the misery The Star 15 Aug A little perfection can go a long way The Star 29 Aug Beneficial roll of the dice in sleepy dorp The Star 19 Sep Where, oh where have all the Beetles gone? The Star 26 Sep Resolving this wee matter would be joy The Star 3 Oct JR now playing a tune for Gershwin The Star 10 Oct Don’t crunch, rather munch pesky snails The Star 31 Oct Chef in the making – and what a pain The Star 7 Nov Hello! Give a thought for the desperate The Star 21 Nov My remote cellphone is confusing me The Star 4 Dec An election of a different kind 12 Dec Behold, the silly season is upon us ... The Star ? undated I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy The Star ? undated The land of milk and honey ... but no biltong The Star

2001

18 columns
16 Jan Is Packing for Perth ever treachery? The Star 23 Jan It all began when I was a birthday gift The Star 31 Jan Going the full Monty in hair dyes The Star 20 Feb Supermarket shopping the new warfare The Star 5 Mar Three tortoises 12 Mar Where do missing hubcaps go? 2 Apr Josias the kraal manure spreader knows his toes 28 May A machine which can change your life 29 May Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel 25 Jun Is this a secret weapon, or what? 2 Jul Mr Tannenboim 23 Jul Die Bleddy Boom 30 Jul Animal behaviour consultant 6 Aug Renaissance Man puts on an apron 14 Aug Life in Cape Town 17 Sep WTC Attack 15 Oct The PAGAD March 22 Oct The Parrot

1990s

Year not known4 columns
? undated Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived ? undated Exporting Parktown prawns The Star ? undated Raisins are tasty, but children are more filling ? undated Sons, daughters, decisions and dual standards