Carol’s Column

Exporting Parktown prawns

While in the Eastern Transvaal, I came upon a remarkable young man, zoologist Ian McDonald.

I discovered something unique about Ian McDonald. His honours thesis was written on the Parktown prawn, that ubiquitous creature which strikes terror in the hearts of Johannesburgers.

The huge cross between a cricket and a grasshopper makes a great pet, says Ian enthusiastically. More docile than a Rottweiler, for example.

While studying for his degree, several Parktown prawns resided with him in a cricket emporium where he observed their daily and nocturnal habits. Ian McDonald understands and values the mysteries of the Parktown prawn, and what distresses him most is that they are so unloved.

"Their reputation is totally undeserved," he says with passion. "They are friendly and have a strong social lifestyle."

And their singing is in the Pavarotti league. That operatic chirping which shrills above other sounds is their sturdy legs beating against their abdomens. Actually, it's called stridulating. A well-known rock star who has visited South Africa recently is so taken with the sound, that he's collecting a variety of cricket choruses to use as background music.

Parktown prawns, sometimes known as mole crickets, are romantic. The male, not unlike your average human male, will mate with several females before finding one to his fancy. Then, unlike your average male, it's a relationship for life. The tragedy comes when the loving couple are torn apart by householders demented with fear and repulsion who use everything from soap solutions to insecticide to brutally murder them.

The female mole cricket remains loyal to her male throughout her life and a family unit will live happily forever. If left to do so.

Those who lose their partners are inconsolable.

Little mole crickets are works of art and go through nine stages to reach their adult perfection. Their colour, enthuses Ian McDonald, is like caramelised syrup.

People don't realise that Parktown prawns are like miniature gardeners, for their diet is rotten fruit and decaying leaves.

It's just a question of changing attitudes. If only, laments Ian, every Johannesburger would adopt the slogan "Have You Hugged your Parktown Prawn Today?"

However, it seems they could soon become an endangered species for a Japanese businessman is so enthralled with their culinary attributes that he wants to establish a canning factory with the view to exporting crisp and crunchy mole crickets in chocolate sauce.

Ian McDonald despairs. "First, it was black rhino, then wild dog, brown hyenas and now Parktown Prawns. Our African heritage is being plundered."

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